DVD Shoot Timeline, or Dale Feels Vaguely Inadequate

22 Mar

Yesterday I shot a scene for an alcohol training DVD that will be used in bars and restaurants to train new servers/bartenders.  I played Layla, a bohemian bartender who in one scene does not properly check ID and in another scene does it quite thoroughly (leading up to my juiciest line: “Dude, I can’t accept this ID”).

Doing shoots like this mostly entails waiting around, so I made a timeline of my time leading up to my scene.  Here, I shall share it with you:

11 a.m.- Wake up later than intended because boyfriend’s alarm clock was never moved forward for Daylight Savings.

11:27 a.m.- Finish straightening hair, realize back of hair looks shitty as usual.  Put hair in ponytail and pack wardrobe options.

11:58 a.m.- Eat two soft boiled eggs so as not to starve at shoot.  Feel vaguely nauseous and decide one would have sufficed.

12:11 p.m.- Leave for shoot. Realize halfway there wardrobe options are sitting in front of door at home.  Decide it’s too late to go back.

12:48 p.m.- Arrive at shoot.  Explain missing wardrobe options. Smile gratefully when producer offers bohemian-looking headband to complete ensemble.

1:14 p.m.- Make polite conversation with fellow actor who comes over to introduce himself.  Realize he’s walking around the room introducing himself to everyone.  Decide he’s a little lame, but feel a little antisocial and vaguely inadequate.

1:15 p.m.- Remind yourself that Meryl Streep probably didn’t run around shaking the hand of people she didn’t know during her first shoots.  She probably just showed up, did the work, and kept to herself.

1:17 p.m.- Listen to all other actors talking.  Feel a little anti-social after all.  Tell yourself you will never see these people again and it really doesn’t matter.

1:28 p.m.- Insinuate self into conversation when fellow actress looks over at you and smiles while telling story.  Say something that makes fellow actors laugh.  Feel less anti-social. Decide these are great people after all.

1:32 p.m.- Resume reading book and ignoring fellow actors when conversation turns to how hard it is “making it” in “the biz.”

1:48 p.m.- Head to the bathroom. Pass a large spread of sandwich wraps for cast and crew and decide it’s all been worthwhile.

2:12 p.m.- When producer asks if anyone has a corporate looking gym bag, go to car, empty out gym bag (which does indeed look vaguely corporate looking). Feel vaguely inadequate when producer says it would be perfect if not for the brown and white print.  Go back to car and repack gym bag.

2:22 p.m.- Wonder if you should carefully log milage of this trip for taxes next year. Resolve to keep better track of expenses.  Wonder if it’s time for a sammie.  Wait until hungrier.

2:24 p.m.- Eat a sammie.

2:35 p.m.- Are told it’s time for scene.  Am relieved ate sammie before scene started.

2:42 p.m.- Begin filming for scene, which involves more waiting around for lights to be adjusted and fellow actor to stop telegraphing reach for his I.D.  Feel vaguely inadequate when producer tells you to scale back laugh at one point and calls in make-up lady to powder your apparently excessively red nose.

3:38 p.m.- Finish filming scene, thank everyone, slip out door, go home.  Resolve to blog timeline and hope no fellow actors decide to google your name out of a desire to find out more about the mysterious bohemian bartender.

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